The word confidence comes from the Latin confidere, meaning “to trust”. Having confidence means having trust in something to do what it is supposed to do. For example, if you feel confident to cross a ravine on a rope bridge, it’s because you trust that bridge to take your weight. If you don’t feel confident, it is because your trust in the bridge has been undermined, perhaps by the sight of an ominously fraying rope. Self confidence, then, means having trust in your own abilities to handle whatever situation you find yourself in.
Developing that trust means learning a very specific skill, which is to feel comfortable whilst paying attention to the present moment. This is very, very important. People who lack confidence obviously don’t feel comfortable, but they’ve also stopped paying attention to the present moment. Their minds are too busy painting a catastrophic vision of the future as a consequence of their failure. If somebody lacks confidence talking to the opposite sex, for example, it’s because they’re already contemplating humiliation and rejection. This becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, of course.
Equally, people who are over confident have also stopped paying attention to the present moment, because they’re already thinking about a future in which they’ve inevitably succeeded. This can mean missing vital information – the fact that the attractive person you’re talking to has been yawning and checking their watch for the past five minutes, or the fact that the rope bridge made a creaking, snapping sound when you stepped on it.
When you feel comfortable and relaxed in the moment, you can respond to what is actually going on, rather than responding to imaginary consequences. The interesting thing is that this begins to affect what’s actually going on in a positive way – or more accurately, it affects your perception of what’s going on. If you’re giving a best man’s speech, for instance, and you’re relaxed and attentive, that will communicate itself to your audience. They’ll begin to feel that you’re in control, so they can relax and enjoy what’s being said. This in turn will communicate itself to you, so that you relax even more, creating a positive cycle.
On the other hand, if you’re nervous and the audience picks up on it, they’ll start to feel uncomfortable and nervous for you. This will send itself back to you, making you feel even more nervous, and on it goes.
This is why people who lack confidence tend to stay inside their comfort zones. A comfort zone is, by definition, a situation where the feedback you receive makes you feel comfortable. Truly confident people are able and willing to step outside those zones, because they know they can handle whatever feedback they receive – and because they know this, the feedback they receive tends to be positive. This is self fulfilling prophecy in a good way.
Confidence then, is a both a skill and an attitude of mind, which means it’s very amenable to self hypnosis. It’s important to think of situations where more confidence would be useful, rather than chasing “more confidence” as if it were a sum of money. That’s just an illusion. Our self hypnosis CD's and MP3 downloads are designed to help you to bring just the right level of confidence to any situation where it might be needed.
Firstly, it is important to remember that hypnosis is a natural state which you go in and out of a number of times per day – for instance, when you become involved in a movie or a book, and as you drift off to sleep. In fact, when you’ve day-dreamed someone may have come up to you and said “You’re in a trance today.” They were probably joking, but technically they were right!
When you allow your mind to go into this natural state your thoughts will become slower and your mind more open to things said to you, which is why hypnotherapy works. Of course, it depends on what is said to you within the state of hypnosis – there are no magic words, it is about conveying the right messages and using the best therapeutic approaches. The good news is that our team of writers are all leading hypnotherapy educators with over 75 years of experience – meaning our self hypnosis recordings are developed by the finest in the field of personal change.
The terms self-confidence and self-esteem and are often used interchangeably, but they are quite different. Self-confidence is primarily related to taking action and your belief in your own capabilities that you can succeed at something. Whereas self-esteem is about your attitude towards yourself and the way you value yourself as a person.
Clearly, someone with good self-esteem is more likely to be a confident person. However, there are many people who behave with real confidence because they have had to learn how to do this for the sake of family or the requirements of their job, but they may suffer from low self-esteem and think of themselves quite poorly.
If you suffer from low self-esteem then we have several options for you.
7 Steps to Increased Self Confidence does not aim to raise your self-esteem in the conventional way, because there are many drawbacks to this approach (it is quite possible to esteem yourself too highly!). Instead, the course aims to help you develop greater self-acceptance and self-compassion, along with a number of related issues.
We also have a very popular self hypnosis CD / MP3 download titled Boost Your Self Esteem. As with 7 Steps to Increased Self Confidence, it includes a powerful hypnotherapy session to help you work on developing greater self-acceptance. This excellent recording can help you to create new ways of thinking and to treat yourself in a kind and thoughtful way.
We would also recommend another CD / MP3 download of ours, titled Boost Your Ego, which contains a wonderful ego strengthening session. This hypnotherapy recording aims to not only boost your confidence, but to increase your feelings of self respect and self worth. It is a fantastic complement to our other recordings.
Which is the best option for low self esteem? Well, they are all great but if you have long suffered from low self-esteem then we would recommend 7 Steps to Increased Self Confidence because it uses more strategies to help you benefit from good, positive feelings that can help you to feel accepted, motivated, and truly valued as a person. If you'd prefer to start with just a single session or two then we recommend both Boost Your Self Esteem and Boost Your Ego.
All of the self hypnosis CDs and MP3 downloads listed on this page complement each other really well and you can use them together, though obviously not at the exact same time. We recommend only listening to a maximum of two sessions per day, but there are no hard or fast rules. You may also wish to alternate and listen to different sessions on different days.
Please see our article on using multiple self hypnosis sessions for more information.
The time frame for change is different for everyone, because we are all unique. It is therefore impossible to give an answer to this question. Some people will notice positive changes in their confidence levels right away, but for others it can take longer – particularly for those with a long standing issue of low self-esteem. For the best chance of success with self hypnosis we suggest you follow our instructions, go with the flow, and enjoy the process. If you commit to make changes and listen to our self hypnosis sessions as instructed then the possibilities are limitless!